do you ever feel like you just shouldn't?

it's been a week or two now.
I know it's right. but it feels so long.
even now i want to know.
what are you doing? where are you at?

fucking chill out, puh-lease.
summer please rush your ass here.
I am so sick and tired of the weather effecting my moods.
nice weather= i'm okay without you
bad weather=i want to curl up with someone who isn't there.

i want to know why i'm having such a problem
and you're not. and i'm second guessing everything.

ha maybe I should pick up drugs.
drugs that keep you from thinking 14,000 steps ahead of everyone.
a drug that is prescribed for those who want to live one day at a time.
everything around me of you is gone, packed away.
but i always find someway to drift back to you, because it's all i'm used to.
i'm out dancing..don't forget to text you goodnite.
i'm at work...don't forget to tell you when i get off.

now it's..i'm dancing...who gives a shit about goodnite?
i'm getting off work..i'm going staight home.
now hugs, no kisses, no sweet surprises.

i am alone. all alone. and i accept it.
i hate coming home because my mind plays tricks on me.
what was that noise? you pulling up in my court to say i want you back?
no..it's a school bus, picking up kids for school.

i am fucking crazy. i'm recovering.
sometimes i'm over it.
please spill your guts, please cry, please be honest.
i will take it consideration and an open heart,
it'd better to know that you were feeling how i was feeling.

i don't believe the explanation that everything is going to be okay, so i can be at peace.
i'm crawling out of my skin to know when i can see you.

and all of these things are exactly what I need to overcome in order to properly fuction,
with or without you there, for the sake of my well-being.
people do things alone all the time.
and i used to watch those people thinking, "man, i bet they wish they had someone"
now I see couples everywhere, and they know, i know they fucking know it,
that girl is alone, desperate, and can't overcome a damn thing.

i am fucking stronger then that. and i am giving in to every indulgence and feeling.
what- the - hell.

that's it. I'm over it. I am strong.
I don't need anything that's going to weigh me down.
I will be intact whether or not we get back together.

in the words of someone: it's not going to kill me.